Avanti Patil: Life’s wisdom and handling failures!

- Jotting it down so that I can remember it again :D

If you fail a test, does that mean “you are a failure”?
Let’s talk about this in detail.

Define ‘failure’ — according to Oxford dictionary Lack of success, The neglect or omission of expected or required action, The action or state of not functioning.

See, even the oxford dictionary can’t help you there! :(

I want to focus on the word “failure” because it has the power to change the person in its entirety.

I am a “realist” so I don’t think that all problems can be completely solved, but you can give your best shot at it, with a little wisdom you have earned over the years and solid advice from your mentors.

“It’s not harmful to admit that you’ve made mistakes, but don’t waste your time worrying about things which you can’t change, learn from it and move on.”

“Think 1000 times before you take any decision, but once you take the decision, support it no matter what.” Don’t look back. You took this decision after carefully evaluating your thoughts and choices. Each individual and their thinking is different and you have to understand the difference and make peace with it.

“World is not binary.” There is a conversation from movie Blood Diamond which I really like. “Danny Archer: So you think because your intentions are good, they’ll spare you, huh? Benjamin Kapanay: My heart always told me that people are inherently good. My experience suggests otherwise. But what about you, Mr. Archer? In your long career as a journalist, would you say that people are mostly good? Danny Archer: No. I’d say they’re just people. Benjamin Kapanay: Exactly. It is what they do that makes them good or bad. A moment of love, even in a bad man, can give meaning to a life. None of us knows whose path will lead us to God.”

Whether it’s a test, business decision, career choice or relationship you will evidently fail at something. That doesn’t mean you are a ‘failure’.Repeat after me “I failed at —”. Now fill the — with something you failed at recently. Do you feel better? Yes. Because there are so many things you are good at and the world will not know about it until they see it. It doesn’t mean that you have to be so harsh on yourself. “You are not a failure.”

Analyze the problem at hand. “Learn from experiences and follow your gut.” I often have this feeling that my gut feeling knows if I am doing something wrong and if I follow my brain with it’s fancy logic and fail, I often hear my gut feeling saying “I told you so”. Listen to the gut feeling and use your brain to analyze that possibility. Do not eliminate some possibility just because it’s coming from your gut feeling.

You will be in situations which are really bad.. like very very bad.. imagine the worst thing that can happen to you! Those bad things will be worse than that. What to do in that case? When you are truly hopeless. “Gratitude and reflection of good things that have happened to you over the years will help you to be at peace with yourself and calm your mind to deal with tough situations.”

“Cherish your clan.” Make friends who can criticize you, make you listen to your own bullshit and say things which not even your parents can say to you. Anyone can praise you, but real friends are the ones who will make you reflect on good and bad things in your life.

“Help others, even when they can’t help you.”

You never know what someone’s dealing with in their personal life. “Be Kind to One Another — Ellen Degeneres”

“Be humble and praise others” for smallest tasks which they do. Why? It will make their day brighter and yours too. “Smile is contagious” and you will experience it first hand when you do this. Praise at least one person around you with one of the following lines.

You are awesome.
You do great work.
Have a good day/night.
Have a great/awesome weekend.
Aww you are funny.

If you need more advice, check this Kidpresident’s video!

Finally I want to leave you all with quotes from ashton kutcher’s acceptance speech at Teen Choice Awards.